Monday, August 15, 2005

An Open Letter to the Program Directors, Specifically Terri Hemmert of WXRT

To Whom it May Concern...and Terri.

Once upon a time on WCKG, there was a program called "Breakfast with the Beatles". It was a great show that aired on Sundays from 8-11. Tuning in, one could enjoy 3 hours of uninterrupted Beatles music and a fun Beatle Trivia question. Every once in a while we might be treated to sound bites from interviews, appearances, press conferences... but the focus was always the music. Beatles music. Sung by the Beatles.

Times have changed. Breakfast with the Beatles has moved on to XRT. And my boyfriend won't let me listen anymore. Why? Because whenever we tune in it's not to a deep track off Rubber Soul...but rather some obscure Finnish Band covering Revolution 9, or the UBER -nerd musings of Terri "Good 'Gars" Hemmert. And not 2 soconds later, I'm already shouting at the radio to shut up and play some GODDAMNED BEATLES.

An example of just HOW FUCKING BAD this show is now.
"Professor Moptop". HHAAAAAHAHA. Clever play on the name of the haircuts sported by the Beatles in their early days. This lisping, wanna be member of the "Beat the Geeks" squad has a segment lasting at least an unbearable five minutes. This week's focus: The lyrics to Penny Lane and where they came from.

Wait, let me stop here and offer a caveat: This show makes Star Wars nerds look like the Goddamned Alpha Betas.

Ok, so, back to Penny Lane and Professor "Never seen a girl naked" Moptop. So, he tortures us with the most innane factoids about a pretty good song and really, it's forcing me to question if I can even listen to the Beatles any more...and then finally, he's done. And I'm all, "cool. Now they'll play the song." OOOh, I should know better. No. They play the song... it's just some goddamned German Eurotrash version that I immediatley switched off after throwing up a little in my mouth.

Then there's the obscure "solo" crap. Why Ringo even bothers anymore is beyond me. And why Terri has such a hard on for him escapes me as well. The guy CANNOT SING. NOR CAN HE WRITE MUSIC. They play everything that asshole puts out. And don't even get me started on the crap songs like fucking "Honey Pie" "You know my Name" and anything written by Paul in the last 15 years.

I love the Beatles. I do. So, when I tune in on Sunday mornings, I want to hear The Beatles. Not crappy covers, not professor goddamned moptop, not Terri's weird "it says Beatles on it so I guess I'll play it" program directing, and most certainly goddamned not ANYTHING by fucking WINGS!

Warmest Regards,
Beatle Fan # 6,452.

2 Comments:

Blogger bollo said...

History of Penny Lane:

Penny Lane is an actual street in Liverpool, but it also is the name of the area that surrounds it's junction with Smithtown Road. Although it's merely a nondescript shopping area, John and Paul grew up here and spent many years in the neighborhood. In this song by Paul, it symbolizes the childhood innocence of days gone by, when everyone was friendly. John Lennon first thought of Penny Lane and was the first to refer to it in a song with "In My Life," but it was McCartney that made it work as a song of its own.

Today, Penny Lane and the area are a part of The Beatles Liverpool tour. Unfortunately, the songs' success changed many of the original features of the area. All the original street signs were stolen, so that replacement signs were tightly screwed down, and placed in very high locations. The barber shop referred to has been changed to a unisex salon with a picture of The Beatles in the window, and the shelter on the round-about is now a Sgt. Pepper's Bistro.

11:53 AM  
Blogger LC Greenwood said...

Bollo, I wish you ill.

1:16 PM  

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