The Continuing Adventures of L & A

This weather brings me back to the good ol' days.... (insert wavy focus here to fade to...)

So, the year was 1991-92...I can't remember. All I know is that it was winter. A & I at that time were dating two guys who were best friends. It was highschool. It was the weekend.

We were told by our men that we would be going to "a friend's house." This friend lived somewhere around Des Plaines. If only I knew then what I know now...I would have foreseen what was to come. Nothing good ever comes out of Des Plaines. Bad things happen there. But Des Plaines it was to be and we set out in my boyfriend's Cavalier.

A couple things you should know about this car. His dad bought this car with absolutely ZERO options because "it's just getting me to and from work. What do I need all that stuff for?" Apparently, FM radio was just to FANCY SCHMANCY for ol' dad, so the music in J's car consisted of tapes. Many, many tapes that he spent hours making. As a matter of fact, back in those days, mixes were an art form. We named them. We built them to be situation and event specific. We spent so much time in our cars that it was necessary to have proper driving music...But I digress.

OK, so. We head on out to this guy's house. Now, I can't remember his name, so we'll call him Dave. Dave had his own apartment. He was like 22...which to us seemed kinda old and...well kinda creepy. Added to his creepines was the appearance of the apartment itself. He had rusty beige carpet, stained. He had A couch. Clearly given to him by mom after it sat in the basement TV room for years, serving as the SOFA OF SIN... a brownish beige affair with a very thick weave... very popular in the mid 80's. And lastly...a plastic "end table" with a black and white checkerboard top. There MAY have been a folding chair... I don't remember. And that was the apartment... except for the bedroom, which we'll get to in a second. Minds OUT of the gutter please!!

Anyhoo... there we were... a bunch of 16 and 17 year olds in this 22 year old dude's sleezy Ick- Den with a couple of HIS friends. To drink? Johnny Walker. And water. Well, I had never had Johnny Walker and stayed away from it as long as I possibly could..but the temptation to get a buzz on was just too great...so, I inquired about this particular potable.
"So, what? Do we do shots of this?"
"Yep."
"Ok, you have anything to chase this with?" (How cool am I knowin' the lingo!)
"Nope...there's water."
"Uh, well, ok!"

The first went down bad, but not as bad as I thought. I always build things up in my head and then when it's not so bad, I'm all over it like...well... screw the metaphor. Suffice it to say I drank a lot. And then thought taking a hit off the joint going 'round was a FANTASTIC idea. Now, lest you think I was the only dumbass in this posse... A was keeping up with me shot for shot.

At this point, I was feeling a bit dizzy, so I decided to go lie down. I went into the bedroom..more brown...carpet, bedspread...everything. It was like bad 70's porn. I think the closets were even mirrored. So, I lie down. Then A comes in and SHE lies down. Now we're both lying down talking about how dizzy we are when suddenly her boyfriend comes in, takes one look at us and says:
"You guys, in the bathroom, NOW."
And I'm all like,
"What are you talkin' about ...I just need to lay here for a min..." I couldn't finish said sentence as I was being unceremoniously lifted from the bed and deposited next to the toilet. Why did they think I needed to go to the bathroom? And then I hear A retching next to me.
"Dude, how'd you get in here?"
"I dunno... but I'm glad I'm here now..BLARRRRAGGGDG"
"Yeah, me too... move over."

So, there we were. Two drunk 16 year old chicks sharing one shrine to the porcelain god. I locked the door. We weren't going anywhere. When we couldn't trade off, one went to the sink. It was a Tour De Force.

Then the pounding.
"dude... is that my head?"
"no, I think it's the door."
"GO AWAY! GIRLS PUKING!"
"Ladies, let us in. You have to go. LC is going to miss her curfew." (See Curfew Story)

Apparently, we didn't move fast enough, because the next thing we know the door has been kicked open, someone is putting my shoes back on my feet and I'm being half dragged, half carried out of the apartment and down some stairs.

Into the car. My boyfriend is driving. And not in such a way as to make the ride easier for me. No going easy on the turns, breaking fast... the whole nine. What a dick! God! I just lay there listening to REM hoping to God I could make it home without yacking all over the backseat.

We made it. A and I stumbled into the house. Somehow, she had recovered faster than I and was taking care of me as I mumbled things like "He hates me now.. he thinks I suck...I have to call him... BLAARgh".

I don't remember going to bed. I don't think I did. I think I slept by the toilet.
Story of my frikkin' life...