I am Not Relaxed

I am needy and neurotic.
I haven't been able to really sit with myself in years.
As a matter of fact I've been running from myself forever.
Running SCREAMING in the other direction towards everything that's bad for me.
The thought of sitting still is obscene to me.
Here I tap my feet knowing there's someplace I'd rather be.
My whole life has been in preparation for "When I grow up."
Well, here I am.
Grown up.
And no closer to where I thought I would be.

Ah fuck it. Just gonna go home, have a beer, watch some Law and Order, go to bed, and start it all over again.