Surprises
They come in many ways and means...
Sometimes they are good, sometimes they are wonderful.
And then sometimes, they bring a longing that is so familiar and deep.
And it's easy to remember why one lets go when it becomes clear that the longing will always be longing.
And it's easy to remember how hard it is to remember that the longing will only come back ten-fold.
But for now, the surprise is nice. It makes one feel pretty. Beautiful, even.
After such stretches of feeling otherwise.
But this year, I move forward knowing the score.
taking pockets of peace as they come and treating them as no more.
Knowing that even if there's nothing more to give, what is given is wonderful.
Truly.
Sometimes they are good, sometimes they are wonderful.
And then sometimes, they bring a longing that is so familiar and deep.
And it's easy to remember why one lets go when it becomes clear that the longing will always be longing.
And it's easy to remember how hard it is to remember that the longing will only come back ten-fold.
But for now, the surprise is nice. It makes one feel pretty. Beautiful, even.
After such stretches of feeling otherwise.
But this year, I move forward knowing the score.
taking pockets of peace as they come and treating them as no more.
Knowing that even if there's nothing more to give, what is given is wonderful.
Truly.
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