Remembering 911

It's hard to believe that it's been 5 years.
I was only 26.
It seems so long ago, and yet all the video footage still reduces me to tears.
I was humming American Pie in the shower this morning.
It's raining.
And I'm just ... sad. No one at work seems to be talking about it. It seems like just another day. And it is. Just like the last 364 days have been since the last anniversary. It's easy to forget it until it pops up again. I'm surprised at the depth of emotion I still feel about it. I didn't lose anyone. I don't know anyone who lost anyone.
And yet, I feel so close to it.
I feel a little silly actually.
The silliness comes from years of politicking we've suffered through at the hands of bi-partisanship. And a nation devided over the competancy of our current Administration. And the war. The fucking WAR. The War my brother fought in for 16 months. And the hatred I see that people have for our country.
We're divided. Separate. So, today, I don't really feel connected with anyone.
Not like That Day. That day I felt as though I knew everyone in the United States. For weeks you could walk into a bar and people would look up and smile at you with that mixture of sadness and gladness over being an American in that moment.
I miss the gladness.