Fucking Brilliant Idea!!!

I credit my good friend MEO for this inspired idea.
We were talking about her Thanksgiving and the time she spent with her in-laws.
They were trimming the tree, listening to Christmas music when the following song came on:

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
She didn't see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep;
She thought that I was tucked up
In my bedroom fast asleep.

Then, I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white;
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night.

I think it's a safe bet to think that at one point in time or another all of us have thought, "Hm, wow, this song is kinda creepy."
What with children not knowing that Santa is really well, dad or mom, or Bruce-dad's life partner. But, MEO's sister in law took it to the next level.
She thought it was some adulterous woman kissing some random mall Santa.
Then she went on to talk about what she and her friends call "The Date Rape Christmas Song." I couldn't think of what she was talking about until I heard a smattering of a tune in my head and to the internets (batman theme here) I went.
And she was right.
I present to you:

"Baby It's Cold Outside"
or
A Christmas Date Rape

I really can't stay - Baby it's cold outside
I've got to go away - Baby it's cold outside
This evening has been - Been hoping that you'd drop in
So very nice - I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice
My mother will start to worry - Beautiful, what's your hurry
My father will be pacing the floor - Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I'd better scurry - Beautiful, please don't hurry
well Maybe just a half a drink more - Put some music on while I pour

The neighbors might think - Baby, it's bad out there
Say, what's in this drink - No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how - Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell - I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say no, no, no, sir - Mind if I move a little closer
At least I'm gonna say that I tried - What's the sense in hurting my pride
I really can't stay - Baby don't hold out
Ahh, but it's cold outside

C'mon baby

I simply must go - Baby, it's cold outside
The answer is no - Ooh baby, it's cold outside
This welcome has been - I'm lucky that you dropped in
So nice and warm -- Look out the window at that storm
My sister will be suspicious - Man, your lips look so delicious
My brother will be there at the door - Waves upon a tropical shore
My maiden aunt's mind is vicious - Gosh your lips look delicious
Well maybe just a half a drink more - Never such a blizzard before

I've got to go home - Oh, baby, you'll freeze out there
Say, lend me your comb - It's up to your knees out there
You've really been grand - Your eyes are like starlight now
But don't you see - How can you do this thing to me
There's bound to be talk tomorrow - Making my life long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied - If you caught pneumonia and died
I really can't stay - Get over that old out
Ahh, but it's cold outside

Baby it's cold outside

Brr its cold….
It's cold out there
Cant you stay awhile longer baby
Well…..I really shouldn't...alright

Make it worth your while baby
Ahh, do that again….

Ok, so, aside from pointing out the "What's in this drink" line, I think my work here is done.

I think this topic deserves a series. So, tune in for more "What the hell is this song suggesting" lyrics and analyses.

Merry Christmas!!