Well, I've Figured it Out.
Why is Jason Lee whoring himself to Hollywood?
Why is he doing films like Underdog and Alvin and the Chimpmunks...both cinematic abortions?
One word my friends.
Scientology.
Quite simply, "My Name is Earl" and the residuals from his other film appearances are not providing him with the funds necessary to supplement the money it costs to be a Scientologist.
So, thank you Scientology. Thank you very fucking much for ruining yet, another artist.
Fuck you.
Fuck you so bad.
Why is he doing films like Underdog and Alvin and the Chimpmunks...both cinematic abortions?
One word my friends.
Scientology.
Quite simply, "My Name is Earl" and the residuals from his other film appearances are not providing him with the funds necessary to supplement the money it costs to be a Scientologist.
So, thank you Scientology. Thank you very fucking much for ruining yet, another artist.
Fuck you.
Fuck you so bad.
posted by LC Greenwood at 9:39 AM
5 Comments:
What, you didn't catch the trailer's punchline?Alvin eats Theodore's shit. That's funny, Laura, or hadn't you heard?
I'm not sure when we crossed the threshold into this new world, but we're here. A place where there's a massive defecit of creativity and ingenuity in the arts, t.v. and movies.
But this world also has a hunger for ticket sales and advertising dollars that's stronger than ever. So without good ideas, the result is total abandonment of all taste, class and genuine thought.
Enjoy your popcorn.
Well, from someone who has seen one full ep of My Name is Earl and then went... "I just don't get it.", Jason Lee was at his best in the films of Kevin Smith. Lee definitely seemed like the heir-apparent to the old-school Chevy/Bill wise-ass with films like MALLRATS (one of my personal faves) and CHASING AMY and I was so psyched when Kevin was talking about doing "Fletch Won" with Lee starring. That fell into development hell, and then he lent his voice to THE INCREDIBLES and that seemed like a step in the right direction, but it seems that direction probably got us where we are now: doing voice-overs. Where the Scientology angle comes in, well, I just don't know. In the immortal words of Woody Allen, "I can't get with any religion that advertises in 'Popular Mechanics'."
Jason is likely in the first of Three Stages of Scientology. Let's go over them briefly.
Stage One: Denial
This is where the folks invite you to the Scientology Celebrity Centre*, along with your manager. Together, they convince you that it's your right, nay, your duty to advance The Cause by not turning down any script that comes your way. They tell you you're "untouchable" and that "anything you do will have been better because you're in it!"
And for now, in Stage One, you believe them.
*Note that Centre is spelled fancy to appear more legitimate. Like the Admiral Theatre is.
Stage Two: Belief that You're Indestructible
Jump on sofas and pound on floors whenever cameras are rolling. Tongue your naive and strangely pitiful girlfriend like a teenager as she towers above you on the red carpet. Accuse women of faking both labor pains and depression. "Exercise more," you suggest with a straight face.
Whatever you do - don't be glib.
Stage Three: Acceptance of Medioctiry
This is the stage where you don't care what people think anymore. You widen your driveway to make room for a jumbo jet. You paid for the jet in cash, with money you earned from cinematic treasures like Wild Hogs, Battlefield Earth, and Michael.
In this stage you realize that if you only accepted movie roles that require creative risk, like Pulp Fiction, you couldn't go and build an airport on your front lawn. So you realize that bad movies are a means to an end. You see that you're as inconsequential and average as everybody who sees the garbage you put your name on.
So fire up the 747, because it's time to go shoot Look Who's Still Talking and Just Won't Shut the Hell Up.
If you weren't already married...
**blush**
Actually I think it'd take roughly a week for you to get fed up and tell me get off the damn computer.
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