To the Marketing and Strategy Director At Planned Parenthood, Aurora.
So, ok. Planned Parenthood is getting a whole rash of shit because supposedly the town of Aurora was "lied to" about what kind of facility was actually being developed in that space. And the citizens of Fantastic Aurora are pissed as they don't want "The kinds of services Planned Parenthood provides" in their town.
What services???
Oh. You mean, affordable STD screenings? Affordable Gynecological healthcare and preliminary pre-natal consultations???
See, this is where PP has gone horribly wrong.
They've moved into a (from what I understand) dense Hispanic population.
Hispanic = Catholic and Catholic = no abortions EVER.
So. How does a place like PP leverage itself in a community that might otherwise shun them, even though that community might DESPERATELY NEED its services?
By letting folks know that it's not all about the baby-slaying.
And, if I've read correctly, we have quite the... "temporary worker" presence in Hispanic areas. Yeah, that's nicey-nice for "Illegal Alien". What of it? You wanna fight about it??
Anyway...people WITHOUT INSURANCE. People who may not be able to get the healthcare they need.
People who reproduce.
People who "might need to have that looked at".
People who get diseases and need treatment and prevention.
Here's some suggested taglines, Planned Parenthood:
Planned Parenthood: We Help You HAVE Babies Too.
Planned Parenthood: Yes, that DOES look infected. You should come in immediately.
Planned Parenthood: Healthy Pipes=Healthy Babies.
Planned Parenthood: You're 15. Wear a Goddamned Condom. Here. They're Free.
Call me and we can negotiate usage rights.
What services???
Oh. You mean, affordable STD screenings? Affordable Gynecological healthcare and preliminary pre-natal consultations???
See, this is where PP has gone horribly wrong.
They've moved into a (from what I understand) dense Hispanic population.
Hispanic = Catholic and Catholic = no abortions EVER.
So. How does a place like PP leverage itself in a community that might otherwise shun them, even though that community might DESPERATELY NEED its services?
By letting folks know that it's not all about the baby-slaying.
And, if I've read correctly, we have quite the... "temporary worker" presence in Hispanic areas. Yeah, that's nicey-nice for "Illegal Alien". What of it? You wanna fight about it??
Anyway...people WITHOUT INSURANCE. People who may not be able to get the healthcare they need.
People who reproduce.
People who "might need to have that looked at".
People who get diseases and need treatment and prevention.
Here's some suggested taglines, Planned Parenthood:
Planned Parenthood: We Help You HAVE Babies Too.
Planned Parenthood: Yes, that DOES look infected. You should come in immediately.
Planned Parenthood: Healthy Pipes=Healthy Babies.
Planned Parenthood: You're 15. Wear a Goddamned Condom. Here. They're Free.
Call me and we can negotiate usage rights.
posted by LC Greenwood at 11:48 AM
5 Comments:
But even wearing a condom....isn't that against Catholicism? Did I spell that right? I think they would have to simply focus on the reproductive health care and avoid conversations of birth control and, as you so delicately put it, "baby slaying".
Please note: "Baby-slaying" is a nod to the irrational volcanic freakouts people have in regards to a woman's control over her uterus.
And yes, the Church does have a big fat stance about birth control, so perhaps the condom messaging could move into the Secondary Communication tier.
God, I love my job.
Maybe we could call it something a bit classier for the sake of this blog...like Coat Hanger Kids, or Too Much Drinkin' Makes Baby Go Bye-Bye. Something with some couth.
Mm, I like that Auryn. Maybe a cross-branding tie in with Target®:
Planned Parenthood will hand out tees with a big red bulls eye printed over that baby bump. That way, once safe, clean abortions are finally outlawed, girls will once again learn the joys of the time-honored alternative of standing in an alley as friends throw baseballs at your uterus! Plus, it's kinda like a game!
"STEP rightup folks! Killa fetus, n' winnaprize!"
Or..."Avoiding a sudden trip to the country to 'visit relatives."
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