Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Was this too much?

So, I'm surfing through lavalife yesterday... yes, I do the lavalife...anyway, I came across my ex's ad. Yes, I met him online. Funny thing was, it says it was modified on July 10. The day BEFORE we broke up.

I wrote him this email. Was this too much?

I saw your ad on lavalife. "Last Modified July 10". We broke up on the 11th. Awesome . How unbelievably disrespectful. You are such a DICK I can't even begin to express it.Don't worry. You will NEVER hear from me again. And do me a favor. Stay away from my side of town. And by the way. Really, you should start taking a look at your sexual orientation honestly. You're gay. Really.
1. "Everyone totally thinks I'm gay but I'm not"
2. You wear scented oil.
3. You like sex from behind WAY too much
4. You wear leather pants. And don't give me that song and dance about bikers. It's fucking Village People and you know it.
5. The fact that you had a 3some in college with one girl and another guy
.6. Everyone makes fun of your best friend being boyfriends. It's funny, because it's true.
7. You grabbed so many of your guy friend's asses at Buffett I started getting uncomfortable.
8. You let Dave actually GOOSE you and then giggled about it like a girl. Ew.

All of this is okay now...because I wrote this for me, and because I know that all you'll do is exactly what you do best, keep on running from the things that make you a little too uncomfortable....LIKE TRUTH.
You make me sick. And I'm ashamed to have dated you and opened my heart to you. So, consider me a non-event in your life. And the last thing I leave you with is the knowledge that there is someone out there who truly, truly hates you. And thanks for that. Because I usually can't hate anyone.

Yeah, I thought so too. And in a moment of bipolar disorder apologized to him.

I'm so pathetic.

4 Comments:

Blogger #1 FAN said...

When he changed his listing...was it to 'Men Seeking Men'?

10:39 AM  
Blogger LadyJay said...

Just remember the proper way to deal with exes is
*SLAP*
hug
*SLAP*

11:42 AM  
Blogger FireVaney said...

Wow.

Yeah, okay, we're not dating...
but still...
remind me NEVER to break up with you.

1:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahaha... Delicious.

9:31 AM  

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