There's no title.
Yeah, so she never thought she'd see him again. And it really pissed her off. Well, first it hurt. Then she got mad. Then she decided to forget about it. That lasted all of five minutes, and the next three days were spent thinking about the situation, feeling alternately disappointed, sad, and angry...sometimes all at the same time. Which she knows is ok.
Tuesday, therapy. Where she finally accepted that she did the right thing and that anyone who couldn't see that let alone appreciate it, wasn't someone she should be worrying about. Still stung though. She hated not being able to FIX things. To MAKE people see the right path. So, she made a decision. One last olive branch. One last wave of that damn flag...
She wrote him-thinking of the movies and how she was actually setting up a scene from every romantic comedy ever made...which she herself had declared poisonous to the reality of living relationships-but she wrote on. Told him where she would be that evening and the next and that she'd really like to see him...told him he didn't have to reply, and tipped her hat to her almost obsessive need to beat something into the ground. She was a "try all avenues" kind of girl. She pressed "send".
In the afternoon, it started to snow. She watched, nonplussed, thinking it would stop soon. It didn't stop. It got worse and worse until she had to accept that the weather had thwarted her plan for a reconciliation. But, something small in her heart kept speaking up. Telling her she had to go anyway. What if he showed up? What if what if what if...
There were 4 other people in the bar besides her. She resolved to stay until 10:30. It was 9:20. She ordered a beer and sat down and listened to music...her stomach doing some floor work and then the uneven bars. She knew he wasn't going to show... but she even went so far as to alert another bartender just in case to show him where she'd be. Utter silliness. She laughed at herself. But didn't feel bad. She knew that there were about a thousand reasons he wasn't going to show up...the least of which being the 6 inches of snow outside.
She grabbed her beer and moved closer to the stage. Thinking to chat with her friend who was entertaining himself (as there was no one else to entertain). She lit a cigarette. Laughed at something he said. Took a sip of her beer and looked up and towards the bar.
And there he was.
And all she could think was "I can't believe he's here... that's so cool...that's so cool."
There were naysayers who told her "of COURSE he came."
But, when someone doubts as much as she has and has had just as much reason to do so... that moment gets burned in her brain.
All those times she'd watched some stupid movie starring someone whom it hurt to look at and he'd just got done holding up a boombox at the train station after climbing up a fire escape and crashing his girl's ill-fated wedding saying 'I was just nowhere near your neighborhood' and that little voice in her heart cried "Why not me??" and then in the same breath said "Fuck Romance. Love Disappears, Baby" suddenly popped in her brain and she realized that at least one time in her life, she'd actually had a movie moment.
And it was kick ass.
Tuesday, therapy. Where she finally accepted that she did the right thing and that anyone who couldn't see that let alone appreciate it, wasn't someone she should be worrying about. Still stung though. She hated not being able to FIX things. To MAKE people see the right path. So, she made a decision. One last olive branch. One last wave of that damn flag...
She wrote him-thinking of the movies and how she was actually setting up a scene from every romantic comedy ever made...which she herself had declared poisonous to the reality of living relationships-but she wrote on. Told him where she would be that evening and the next and that she'd really like to see him...told him he didn't have to reply, and tipped her hat to her almost obsessive need to beat something into the ground. She was a "try all avenues" kind of girl. She pressed "send".
In the afternoon, it started to snow. She watched, nonplussed, thinking it would stop soon. It didn't stop. It got worse and worse until she had to accept that the weather had thwarted her plan for a reconciliation. But, something small in her heart kept speaking up. Telling her she had to go anyway. What if he showed up? What if what if what if...
There were 4 other people in the bar besides her. She resolved to stay until 10:30. It was 9:20. She ordered a beer and sat down and listened to music...her stomach doing some floor work and then the uneven bars. She knew he wasn't going to show... but she even went so far as to alert another bartender just in case to show him where she'd be. Utter silliness. She laughed at herself. But didn't feel bad. She knew that there were about a thousand reasons he wasn't going to show up...the least of which being the 6 inches of snow outside.
She grabbed her beer and moved closer to the stage. Thinking to chat with her friend who was entertaining himself (as there was no one else to entertain). She lit a cigarette. Laughed at something he said. Took a sip of her beer and looked up and towards the bar.
And there he was.
And all she could think was "I can't believe he's here... that's so cool...that's so cool."
There were naysayers who told her "of COURSE he came."
But, when someone doubts as much as she has and has had just as much reason to do so... that moment gets burned in her brain.
All those times she'd watched some stupid movie starring someone whom it hurt to look at and he'd just got done holding up a boombox at the train station after climbing up a fire escape and crashing his girl's ill-fated wedding saying 'I was just nowhere near your neighborhood' and that little voice in her heart cried "Why not me??" and then in the same breath said "Fuck Romance. Love Disappears, Baby" suddenly popped in her brain and she realized that at least one time in her life, she'd actually had a movie moment.
And it was kick ass.
posted by LC Greenwood at 4:49 PM
2 Comments:
It's not deleted. It's in process and not as ready as I thought. Settle down there slappy, and enjoy the rare moment of happiness.
Sometimes there are good movie moments in life and sometimes there are bad ones.
And sometimes it's all about The Game.
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