when your past comes back to haunt you

So, I have a past.
We all do.
Snow pants
Video games. Hot Chocolate.
waking a drunk mother
to take you to school.
Staying home cuz she couldn't.
Sprinklers
dandelions and cottonwood trees
a belt across the legs.
uniforms school supplies
macaroni ornaments
waiting for dad to come
to hear your violin knowing
he's just
not.
Highschool, new friends
just wanting to fit in.
Drugs, alchohol, hey mom's
not around, why not?
Musicals, dances, exams
Watching your mom get beat up
and calling the cops.
Dad moving to the Left Coast
Leaving you alone.
Failing grades.
A boyfriend, love at 16, bequested virginity.
And then away to college.
Breakup, move on, get lost.
Come home, New school new man,
new friends
new life,
more shows, graduation.
Heartbreak.
And then begin the 20's
Searching, finding,
wondering what's wrong with you.
Love two more times Heartbreak twice as
hard.
Alcohol, drugs, anything to numb the pain.
Seminars, therapy, anything to get well.
Jobs gained, jobs lost.
approach 30.
Not knowing what to do with all
the love you have to give when
no one will accept it. No one
wants it. So,
save it for yourself. Save it for
family. Save it for friends.
And try to smile. And look back
proudly and see who you've become.
A lot can happen in a day, a month,
2 months, 3. It's all relative.
I'm proud of you.