F-ing Sh*t F**k!

Ok, I've had it with these mornings waking up like I've got Eeyore on my back reminding me how futile putting forth effort towards happiness and contentment can be.
"It's useless. You're just gonna end up unhappy with whatever it is you were goin' for anyway." And please, by all means, Eeyore, bring that raincloud with you.
Little Bastard.
It's what makes me so goddamned cranky. And for no reason either.
I've got really nothing to complain about.
I'm healthy.
My family loves me.
My friends are wonderful.
But there's something missing.
And we ALL know what that is.

To be honest, I'd just love to NOT miss it, you know? To just be content with how things are exactly the way they are.
But that's the human condition really. A need for better. For more. And when apathy or lethargy prevent the pursuit of more, then guilt sets in as we say to ourselves, "I'm not doing enough of (insert whatever here). I must suck."
Wouldn't it be great to just look around and say,
"That'll do, Pig, that'll do."


I gotta do some charity work. Get some perspective or something.

SPEAKING OF WHICH.

I had a facination conversation with 2 friends of mine regarding racism where they grew up.
Now, as many of you (all 5 of my readers) know, I have some very strong views on racism, reverse racism, affirmative action, and what I thought was (until now) unnecessary alienation on both sides of the issue.
Well. These two friends of mine grew up in relatively rural parts of the world and the things they told me had my mouth agape throughout the entire conversation. Some highlights:

-In one town, when they were forced to finally draw their county lines, they actually drew it in such a way that it went around the property of a black family so that the county could boast that they had no black people in the county.
-In this same town, until recently, there were still signs that said "No Blacks After Sundown" or something to that effect.
-Both friends knew versions of Jingle Bells and Eeny Meeny Miney Mo that featured violence towards Black people (and used the nasty word.) These songs were sung on playgrounds.
-Openly gay people "disappeared" or were found dead on a pretty regular basis.
-Both knew where Klan meetings were held.

I was absolutely horrified. I grew up in a pretty nice suburb of Chicago. We were taught all about racism and how wrong it was. I had never seen or heard of any of what my friends had been exposed to.
Here, all this time, I've been soap-boxing about how the presence of racism isn't as bad as everyone thinks, and that we need to start moving away from knee-jerk reactions to it. And maybe in some cases, yes, we do. But I stand pretty much corrected.

If my friends...contemporaries of mine, and in BOTH cases younger than I can tell me stories like I heard yesterday, then there is still a very big problem.
And, well, let it never be said that I can't admit that I've been wrong. Not only have I been wrong, but I've been ignorant of a lot of what is in fact going on in this country, world, and universe.