One of My Turns
Jesus. He hasn’t even touched me and he just wants to go ahead and stick it in.
I haven’t had an orgasm with a guy in over a year.
Why am I even going through with this?
Aaaaand, he’s done.
Fabulous.
“That was quicker than I’d anticipated.”
“Well, that just means I’m doing my job.”
That’s what I say to exonerate him from his.
Makes it somehow worth it. As if I’m this amazing specimen of woman that even the most accomplished is rendered powerless.
Fools me into believing that I’m not attracting weak men.
Worse, that I’m not settling for weak men.
Worse still, convincing myself that I’m not defective.
He’s gotten up to clean up immediately. No cuddling here. Nope.
I dress quickly.
“I need to get smokes.”
“Do you need me to drop you some where?”
How nice. A one way ride to the store.
I’ve earned a ride to the store
but not back.
What the hell is the matter with me?
Please.
No one to blame but me. Had my standards been higher.
Pain creates bad decisions, The fear of pain almost makes those decisions worse.
Thank you House marathon.
What the hell am I looking for?
Why is it so hard to come by?
And not even an attempt.
Not even a gesture.
I don’t expect it any longer,
Just an attempt to fill a hole.
Not even empty really. Just nothing,
I’ll wake up tomorrow sore.
I haven’t had an orgasm with a guy in over a year.
Why am I even going through with this?
Aaaaand, he’s done.
Fabulous.
“That was quicker than I’d anticipated.”
“Well, that just means I’m doing my job.”
That’s what I say to exonerate him from his.
Makes it somehow worth it. As if I’m this amazing specimen of woman that even the most accomplished is rendered powerless.
Fools me into believing that I’m not attracting weak men.
Worse, that I’m not settling for weak men.
Worse still, convincing myself that I’m not defective.
He’s gotten up to clean up immediately. No cuddling here. Nope.
I dress quickly.
“I need to get smokes.”
“Do you need me to drop you some where?”
How nice. A one way ride to the store.
I’ve earned a ride to the store
but not back.
What the hell is the matter with me?
Please.
No one to blame but me. Had my standards been higher.
Pain creates bad decisions, The fear of pain almost makes those decisions worse.
Thank you House marathon.
What the hell am I looking for?
Why is it so hard to come by?
And not even an attempt.
Not even a gesture.
I don’t expect it any longer,
Just an attempt to fill a hole.
Not even empty really. Just nothing,
I’ll wake up tomorrow sore.
posted by LC Greenwood at 11:08 PM
1 Comments:
I know that you have self-respect, but I wonder if you practice self-respect.
Then again, maybe I'm WAY out of line to suggest that much.
I just think that you DO need to raise your standards. And, for whatever it's worth, you need to focus on the sort of happiness and satisfaction that you can achieve entirely on your own -- i.e., making movies, music, writing, acting, etc.
As for men, they have to meet YOUR criteria, inside and out, first. Settle for nothing less.
Then again, what the fuck do I know? Right?
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