Unsent, Untold, and Incomplete.

And so...
Obsolete.

I've been having a hard time today with THE MEN IN MY LIFE.
I've got a series of men that I've hooked up with or been in relationships with that I realize that I have been "holding out for."
so, today, I'm sad because I realize that I have to let go of any hope that anything will ever happen.

It started this past weekend when one of these men told me that we have to start ignoring the sexual tension between us so that it will go away because he doesn't want to go there with me. huh. That was interesting.
So, it got me to thinking about all the other "sexual tension" situations I have.
And how if I'm really honest about it, nothing is ever going to come out of them ever again. I realize that for the past 9 years, I've been subconsciously keeping doors closed in order to keep things open for whenever "he" showed up. To which Leslie replied:
You can't fuck a ghost.

There are a couple of these guys in particular that I absolutely need to say goodbye to. And it makes me really very sad. Giving up hope hurts. Even if it is misplaced and misdirected and letting go of it is the healthiest thing since working out and eating properly.

So, in the tradition of Ms. Morissette,
I give you
My own...Unsent.

Dear Cute Guy I met at the bar,

You are totally dreamy and represent "What I could be missing". But WHAT am I actually missing? Impulsive, mediocre sex that will inevitably lead no where and leave me worried about pregnancy? AWESOME!
I should really continue this course of action.
Goodbye.

Dear Guy I really liked in High School, never dated, but recently had a fling with,

You are incredible in bed. You make me laugh harder than anyone else on this planet. But we will never be in a relationship because you are you and you have issues that don't include me. And sleeping together again would be a bad choice as it would just undo all the "getting over you" I've been trying to do for the last year. So, enough already.
Goodbye.
(Damn, that was a little less convincing than the first. Gotta work on that.)

Dear British guy I met ang had a fling with in Germany and occasionally get emails from:

You were awesome. But, you live in Europe and I'm not moving there any time soon. For real. I need to realize that a dream of moving overseas does not guarantee a reunion with you. That was evident when you blew me off last winter.
Goodbye.

Dear Most Recent Serious Boyfriend who looked really good on paper,
You helped me through a really rough patch and helped me get a great new job. But, you also called me fat. And now I drink even more than I did before you. We're never getting back together.
Goodbye.

Dear College Boyfriend,
It's been 9 years since we broke up. I've sent you letter after letter telling you how much I still love you and how we should just "be together already!" You are never moving back to Chicago. We are never getting married. Your laissez faire attitude toward my last efforts was a little insulting. And I need to not be in love with you anymore.
Goodbye.

Best Regards,
A Woman who thinks it's about time to move the fuck on with her life.