Moms of America, Calm the Fuck Down.
Ok, so the man and I were watching the tv box last night. A pretty f-ing kick ass night of premiers, by the by.
Anyhoo, the news teasers kept featuring an item about this kid who was hit by a baseball in the face while pitching...with all requisite drama that all news teasers provide...and the kid's mom saying things like:
"The risk is too great."
So, we wait with baited breath to watch NBC news at 10. Well. Here's the situation.
Some kid was pitching a little league game, the batter hit the ball. Into the pitcher's eye. He's lucky to have kept his eye, bla bla bla...
But, instead of just writing this off as dumb luck, and "that's what can happen during any baseball game" this kid's mom needed someone to blame. Just like any other mouth-breathing American. What does she blame?
Aluminum fucking bats.
And she wants them banned.
And, she's made enough goddamned noise about it that the State Legislators are drafting a bill that will ban aluminum bats from little league and highschool play.
But here's the BEST FUCKING PART. NBC then turns around and hits us with this completely UNRELATED STATISTIC:
And I quote:
"80% of little league injuries involve children under the age of 13."
Um? What in the ever loving fuck does that statistic have to do with the use of Aluminum bats?
NOTHING.
One COULD infer that all of those children were injured because of aluminum bats because most kids use aluminum bats at that age and so therefore all the kids were injured by aluminum bats....OH MY GOD!!!
DO YOU SEE WHAT THE HELL JUST FUCKING HAPPENED HERE????
Silogistic Thought. That's what.
It's alarmist, it's irrational, and most of all it's just plain fucking dumb.
OK, so. Moral of this story?
In the future, if we're not living the plot of "Idiocracy", American children will be helmet wearing asthmatics who eat paste.
Anyhoo, the news teasers kept featuring an item about this kid who was hit by a baseball in the face while pitching...with all requisite drama that all news teasers provide...and the kid's mom saying things like:
"The risk is too great."
So, we wait with baited breath to watch NBC news at 10. Well. Here's the situation.
Some kid was pitching a little league game, the batter hit the ball. Into the pitcher's eye. He's lucky to have kept his eye, bla bla bla...
But, instead of just writing this off as dumb luck, and "that's what can happen during any baseball game" this kid's mom needed someone to blame. Just like any other mouth-breathing American. What does she blame?
Aluminum fucking bats.
And she wants them banned.
And, she's made enough goddamned noise about it that the State Legislators are drafting a bill that will ban aluminum bats from little league and highschool play.
But here's the BEST FUCKING PART. NBC then turns around and hits us with this completely UNRELATED STATISTIC:
And I quote:
"80% of little league injuries involve children under the age of 13."
Um? What in the ever loving fuck does that statistic have to do with the use of Aluminum bats?
NOTHING.
One COULD infer that all of those children were injured because of aluminum bats because most kids use aluminum bats at that age and so therefore all the kids were injured by aluminum bats....OH MY GOD!!!
DO YOU SEE WHAT THE HELL JUST FUCKING HAPPENED HERE????
Silogistic Thought. That's what.
It's alarmist, it's irrational, and most of all it's just plain fucking dumb.
OK, so. Moral of this story?
In the future, if we're not living the plot of "Idiocracy", American children will be helmet wearing asthmatics who eat paste.
posted by LC Greenwood at 9:37 AM
3 Comments:
The second most ridiculous spin in that story is the claim that the majority of Little League players injured are under the age of 13.
According to the league's own media guide, the ENTIRE goddamn Little League is under 13!
So far from shocking me with that 80% statistic, it only makes me wonder who the hell else is adding up to constitute the other 20 percent, coaches? Parents?
According to Google, 13-18 year olds are technically part of the Junior and Senior Leagues, not Little League, per se.
of course 80% of little league players injured are under 13! it's little league & they're ALL that age. jackasses. where is darwin?
I understand your ire and I agree with you, especially about this alarmist crap.
But I hope they get rid of aluminum bats anyway. They're just evil. Nobody burns their name into an aluminum bat.
Post a Comment
<< Home