Beginnings...

My first role as an Actor:
The show: Peter Pan
The Role: Smee
I was 6 years old.

I’ve always wanted to be on stage. The earliest inclination of this I can remember occurred after seeing a production of Annie when I was 6. I know I was 6 because my dad was living on Orchard Street in Lincoln Park, and that’s where he was living when I got my ears pierced as a 6th birthday present. (A story for another day) Anyway, he was dating a girl named Laura (with whom we saw the show) and the day we went to the show, I think I remember going to the record store and picking up the soundtrack. On Vinyl. Which would be played non-stop so that I could learn all the parts so that one day I could have my pick of the roles.

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be Annie because I really loved “It’s a Hard Knock Life” and I wasn’t positive that Annie got to sing that song. Plus, I was having trouble hitting all the notes on “Maybe”. But, I really loved “I Think I’m Gonna Like it Here.” It was a true artist’s dilemma.

But I digress. I remember being just absolutely awe-struck by what I saw on that stage. On the way to the car I prattled on and asked all kinds of questions. The question, and answer I remember (which came from Laura) was:
“Where does Annie go now?”
“Well, I suppose she puts on her street clothes and goes home.”

Street clothes. That sounded so cool.

So, one summer, not too long after this fated trip to the theater, my mother signed me up for drama camp.

“Fox n Tails” Drama Camp. Well, I’ll tell ya. It wasn’t so much a drama camp as it was a day care center. I don’t remember taking one damn acting class, but I do remember damn naps. I suppose the “End of the Summer Show” was what gave it its theatrical institution status.

That show was Peter Pan.

I had seen Sandy Duncan in Peter Pan, and I remember wanting SO much to be Wendy. Beautiful Wendy in her pink nightgown with the poofy sleeves and her pink ballet slippers. Yes, I remember her shoes. It’s one of the first things I noticed on any character. Even Barbie. If she had bad shoes, I didn’t want the doll. Olivier needed to know what kind of nose the character had, I needed to know what shoes.

I was perfect for Wendy. I had the long brown hair. I had the nightgowns. (I was WAY into nightgowns at that age. If I wasn’t in my school uniform, I was in my nightgown. Shut up. It was Princess-y. I was 6.)

Audition day. They lined us up. And basically, it went like this: If you wanted a role, you stepped forward and delivered the line they fed you appropriate for that character. So, on down the line we went. For some reason though, I felt the need to read for EVERY character. I was like a girl possessed Some of the lines:

Hook: It’s Peter Pan! Shoot him down!”
Smee: “What’s the plan, Captain?”
And Wendy: “Boy, why are you crying?”

I knew that reading for all the parts was ludicrous, but the Star in me couldn’t stop the 6 year old from being ridiculously over-eager and needing to please.

Well, it came time for the end of the day circle. And this was where our fates were sealed for the rest of the summer.

I waited to hear my name…well, I heard it all right. What I didn’t hear was “Wendy” after it. What I heard was : “Smee”.

Smee? But, he was a pirate! And Old… and… FAT …and a MAN!!!!!
I busted out crying. I couldn’t stop. I was horrified. A girl next to me evilly whispered:
“You’ll have to stuff a pillow in your shirt!” That made me cry harder. I was disrupting the circle. My counselor sent me home.

I walked my devastated little self across the park, went into the house and sought out my mom. I told her the HORRIBLE news. And do you know what she said? Here’s what she DIDN’T say.
“WHAT???? MY DAUGHTER DID NOT GET THE PART OF WENDY??? I’M MACHING RIGHT OVER TO THAT DAMN CAMP AND GIVING THEM WHAT_FOR!!” No. My mother said: “But, Laura, Smee is the best part! He’s funny!” Traitor! I didn’t WANT to be funny. I wanted to be PRETTY AND WEAR A GODDAMN PINK NIGHTGOWN AND GODDAMN PINK BALLET SLIPPERS!!!

I was devastated. I dreaded going to stupid camp. The other girls around me were merciless. They made fun of me whenever they could.

But then, a miracle. We were getting a new camper. A boy. A boy who could play Smee. And so, it was done. I gave up the role, and as we didn’t have enough boys to play Lost Boys, I was recast as a “Lost-Girl”. Thank the Lord. But the Lord works in mysterious ways….

Not long after that, I was struck down with the nastiest case of the stomach flu in the history on stomach flues. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t move for fear of throwing up. For two weeks this went on. I missed 2 weeks of camp (in essence, the entire rehearsal process) and on the night of the show, my mother was putting my hair in pigtails asking me how I felt. I felt fine, but that was the nature of this illness. I could be fine one minute and on the floor writhing in pain the next. I got scared. I didn’t want to get sick on stage. They even offered to have a cot set up in case I needed to lie down. But, I declined. I just wanted to go home. And home I went.

Years later, I look back on this and realize what a big mistake I made in turning down that role. I would have been hysterical. A 6 year old girl playing Smee? Making funny pirate faces, rubbing my hands together in a comically conspiratorial manner…the comedy practically writes itself. And my mom knew! I thought she was crazy, but she knew.

Moral of the story. The lead is not necessarily the best, and the seemingly insignificant and secondary can be the most recognized.

Never let vanity get in the way of having fun.

And I never do.
HEEEEEEEY PAAATHEY!!!