Thoughts on the Bus to Work..

It’s sunny which always makes the going much easier. It’s quiet here on the bus aside from the drone of the diesel and the ominous voice of destination.
Today it’s chilly. I’d like it warmer.
I’m waiting to see the Lake; what kind of mood she’s in this morning.
The last few days have been rough ones. And for once it’s not my personal life. But something on a grander scale. I feel stuck in a rut that I created for myself with poor planning and assumptions about where I’d be today and what I’d be doing. I am the kid who was going to play Pro-Ball and didn’t have a fall-back. But, who knew something so Common and Normal would be so hard to come by, I wonder if it’s something I did wrong or if God has a different plan for me. I wish I knew what it was. For a while I thought it was to get myself well. Get myself strong. Get myself to the point where I didn’t feel so lonely. Or, get myself to a place where I realized how I was destroying myself in my efforts to numb the pain of loss and mediocrity.

And so...I’ve straightened up. I take better care. I no longer find myself waking up worried about the night before. Or trying to remember the night before. Or dragging myself through a day in the fog of the night before.

The lake is rippley. The sun only looks about 20 feet above it. Wonder when those damn geese are gonna have babies. I look for them every morning now. Some trees full, some not ready to come out from under the covers.

What can I do to be more active in the finding out where I’m going? Set a goal. Which one? Teach a class? That’s an idea. Been kickin’ it around for a while…more thought on that…

Almost to work. Gotta close up shop.
And THAT’s what I think about in the morning.