Some FUCKING SUN would be Lovely, thanks!

Fuck this weather. Fuck it right up the ass. We go through this every goddamned spring around here and summer gets shorter and fucking shorter. I need to move someplace warm. Perhaps Florida. Perfect for me as I walk around feeling 68 years old half the time.

Yes. I will purchase a one piece bathing suit complete with the strange panel that extends across the tops of the legs and wear enormous hats. I will live in flowing beach-cover-ups. I will spend the days shelling and the evenings watching "Are You Being Served" and "Keeping Up Appearances" on PBS. I will do crosswords as I lay on my deck chair on the terrace overlooking the gulf. Then I, and my lady friends will all go to dinner talking about the game of Bridge will be playing at Midge's club.
"The soup and sandwich plate is out of this world" she will say and we will coo with elderly delight.

I will go to bed at 10. Because I like the 9:00 news.
I will sit watching the news needlepointing a pillow.
I will need glasses to do so.
I will complain about "music these days."
I will say things like "Is all that sex in movies necessary?"
I will watch "My Stories."

Yes. I'm ready.