Diary of a Dork

I am in 6th grade again.
The cool kids are out to get me.
Why?

Everyday is the same. The dread. What will they say to me today? At what point during the day will I cry? At what point will I snap and just run away?

"Ignore them"
But they're so loud.
"They're just jealous"
But they've made it clear I posses nothing to be jealous of.
"Try and rise above it"
But I feel buried and my hands hurt from all the digging.

What did I do? What did I say? Where does all the hate come from?

And I can't hate back. That's the maddening part. Like a loyal dog I'd give anything for a scrap of attention. Approval. Validation. I WANT them to like me. I WANT to fit in.
And then I lack integrity.

One day I'll be beautiful and strong and this stigma that sets me apart will one day change to unique.

One day, I will grow up.