American Bureaucracy Can Eat Me.
In order to get proof of Identification in this country, one must HAVE proof of indentification. So, what to do when all your forms of ID are either expired or lost, or stolen.
Try going to get a new Social Security Card without a valid Driver's License. Go ahead. I dare you. Because they will tell you to fuck off. And when you tell them that you need a SS Card to GET a Driver's License, they'll ask you for a State ID. For which you ALSO need a SS card.
This was the BEST part though. When I told her that my passport had been lost but that I just got a call that it was found, but that I had cancelled it, do you know what she said?
AND I QUOTE:
"You shouldn't have told me that. If you had kept that to yourself I could have helped you out. Our records don't know that your passport is cancelled."
....excuse me. I'm sorry. What?????
Did you just SCOLD me for rendering myself incapable of DEFRAUDING THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA???
In the same breath (when I asked her why my forms of ID weren't good enough) she said "We're just trying to protect your identity."
I had on my person:
1 Birth Certificate
1 Expired Driver's License
1 Insurance Card
Various pieces of mail with my name and address
3 Credit Cards
None of which were good enough to prove that I am who I am.
But hey, apparently, my cancelled passport could have still gotten me places.
Awesome.
Welcome, Terrorists. Ask for Mrs. Miller when you get here. She'll totally hook you up.
Try going to get a new Social Security Card without a valid Driver's License. Go ahead. I dare you. Because they will tell you to fuck off. And when you tell them that you need a SS Card to GET a Driver's License, they'll ask you for a State ID. For which you ALSO need a SS card.
This was the BEST part though. When I told her that my passport had been lost but that I just got a call that it was found, but that I had cancelled it, do you know what she said?
AND I QUOTE:
"You shouldn't have told me that. If you had kept that to yourself I could have helped you out. Our records don't know that your passport is cancelled."
....excuse me. I'm sorry. What?????
Did you just SCOLD me for rendering myself incapable of DEFRAUDING THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA???
In the same breath (when I asked her why my forms of ID weren't good enough) she said "We're just trying to protect your identity."
I had on my person:
1 Birth Certificate
1 Expired Driver's License
1 Insurance Card
Various pieces of mail with my name and address
3 Credit Cards
None of which were good enough to prove that I am who I am.
But hey, apparently, my cancelled passport could have still gotten me places.
Awesome.
Welcome, Terrorists. Ask for Mrs. Miller when you get here. She'll totally hook you up.
posted by LC Greenwood at 12:57 PM
5 Comments:
I'm with you. Can we just skip the foreplay and get our Orwellian bar code tats already?
So, how, then, are you going to prove that you're you? Or has the INS already whisked you off to Guantanamo Bay?
To further keep your sanity, make sure that if (when) you marry Bri, you don't change your last name. Seventh level of purgatory. Absolutely.
Hey, just imagine if Billary gets their way and we have "universal health care"...
"I'll be more than happy to treat your increasingly-untreatable gangrene. I'll just need two forms of identification. Thank you. Your wait time is approximately 17 days. We appreciate your American patience. And remember... we care."
Oh, make no mistake. Brian and I were just discussing that if we completely Socialize everything, how many of these social security/DMV-type offices we will have to endure. For everything. And Brian was like "Can you imagine how many lawsuits there would be?" To which I responded: "Honey, once we socialize, things like "suing the government" will be a bygone dream. For once we socialize we give up personal rights to justice.
"Is it good for the Country?"
Also, Wow, 1984 totally GETS me.
Winston Smith: Does Big Brother exist?
O'Brien: Of course he exists.
Winston Smith: Does he exist like you or me?
O'Brien: You do not exist.
Post a Comment
<< Home