Oh god.

That's it.

I need to chuck myself off a cliff.

They've just announced that they're remaking Melrose Place.

Also, do black celebrities get offended when interviewers ask them about how they feel about Barrack Obama? I don't know. Somewhere in my head I find it a bit condescending.
Kind of like "you're black, do you know Leroy from Detroit?"
Is it unfair to assume that just because a person is Black that they have a feeling one way or another about a black politician?
Although, perhaps this would apply more if someone said something like
"How do you feel about Jesse Jackson?"

Also, Donnie and Marie have totally done it.

Oh My GOD ENOUGH!!!!

WHEN WILL HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL GO AWAY???
This is something like the 3rd Goddamned time I'm seeing some cast member of this fucking film on some talk show. And if I have to hear one more pop-n'sync-sounding-piece-of-shit-posing-as-a-stage-song, I'm going to drown something.

There is a small kitten here.

Won't you help save a life?

Make High School Musical stop.

For the love of God.

Also, I reaaaaaally need a job.

From the Junk Drawer

Well, first, Obama kicked McCain's ass seven ways to last thursday last night.

Two highlights:

McCain's insistence that Sarah Palin knows more than most about Autism. Um? Really? Her child has Down's. He's not autistic.

McCain's baffling and demeaning remarks about his running mate: "I'm real proud of her...and by the way, she's got a real tough husband." What? Are...you... ok, as much as I can't STAND that woman, how DARE he? How DARE he condescend to her and then somehow think to validate her by telling us how "tough" her fucking husband is???


In other news,
Nothing says "Good Goddamned Morning" like a jackhammer at 7:15. Called the cops, it stopped for about 10 minutes as it took them forever to get there and legally construction can start at 8. Sometimes I really can't stand this city.

My kitten is the cutest thing in the land.

I am drinking very delicious coffee.

I still have no job.

Are you KIDDING?

This is my new little guy.




Bow beneath the weight of his cuteness. KNEEL BEFORE HIM!! LOVE HIM!

From the "Apparently I Need MORE Handholding" File

Goddamnit.

Ford is equipping some of its models with "smart functions". What are these functions, gentle Blog Readers?
They are settings that can limit the car's top speed to 80 mph and set the stereo to go only "so loud."
Why? Because apparently, people are retarded and can't just teach their kids about safe driving.

Thanks, Ford, for automating yet, another basic skill.

Where's I leave that paste? It was yummy.

I'm NOT Waiting Til Next Year.

I'm starting a rumor:

Daley forced the Cub's Organization to throw the post-season so that nothing "untoward" would happen in the streets of Chicago to mar or damage Chicago's Olympic Bid.

There. I said it.

Because there is NOT ONE FUCKING GOOD REASON for a 96 game win Regular Season, only to go out with 12 runs total in the post-season.

Not ONE.
Except the above.

I blame Daley.

Oh, Palin, You're CRAFTY!

At the opening of last night's debate, Sarah "insert some folksy cliche here " Palin shook Biden's hand and benignly asked "Hey, can I call you Joe?"
Polite ice-breaker?
NAY! A calculated effort to make sure that one of her "zingers" would fly true.

For not too long after, she was actually able to say with her characteristic "I totally didn't write this down earlier, I totally thought of this off the cuff just now, Real American People" panache:
"Say it ain't so, Joe!" and then in the same sentence said "Doggoneit". I don't even know how to spell that because I don't talk like a goddamned home-schooled spelling bee champ.

I'm about halfway through the transcript. I couldn't watch last night because I had a show, and, truthfully, I CANNOT listen to that woman speak. Her accent is like biting down on tinfoil.
But, here are some observations so far:

I've got 2 instances of "Darn right", 1 "Heck", 3 Americana-y phrases ie and I shit you not: "Bless their hearts", and oh my god ANOTHER zinger "Joe Six Pack".

My BODY hurts.

Hey, You Want to Go Out for A Beer?

Sigh