My head hurts

But I digress...

Unbelievable... UN-believable... UNBELIEVABLE!!!!

He sat right goddamned next to me on the bus this morning.

I think I'm being punished.

I keep running into this guy....

Ok. We've already covered how ever since I cut down on the smoking that my sense of smell is back with a vengeance...

A few weeks ago I got on the 148 bus headed downtown to my lovely job. As I sat down, I noticed that the man across the aisle from me was wearing one of my favorite colognes...Fahrenheit. "YAY!" I thought," I LOVE this cologne. How nice to be treated to it as I make my commute into the city!" And we were on our way.

About 5 minutes into the journey I began to smell something else...underneath. Smoke. Like "I've smoked about 7 cigarettes since 6 this morning" smoke. Oh well, the cologne still smelled kinda nice...

About 15 minutes in the cologne started to be a little much. And that cigarette smell. I looked over to see who the hell I was dealing with. He looked normal enough...but again, there were things...underneath. He was very pale. But kind of pink. He was wearing a couple of thin gold bracelets that just made his skin look even creepier and mine crawl. He had those long, disturbing fingers. He was wearing brown loafers with no socks.

I was starting to feel sick. I couldn't get up and move because by now the bus was packed. There was no where to go. I pulled one of my pigtail braids across my nose. VO5 Freesia was getting it's ass whooped by this man's Farensmoke Funk. Nausea was quickly becoming an issue.

By the time I got off the bus, my head was pounding. I gasped as the fresh air hit my face. So refreshing...But as I walked toward my office I could still smell it. The guy was walking the same way as I. I couldn't get away. I had to cross the street at a completely different place because of this guy. He was across the street as I made it to the revolving door into my office. Walking. Being ... gross.

I got on the bus a few days ago to begin my commute home. I walked toward the back of the bus behind the big accordion thingy that makes two buses one- where there were seats on the lake-side. I like to watch the lake on my way home. But, the air was on, and it was freezing back there. Another woman remarked on it. I found a warmer seat and sat down. I looked to my left and there he was. Fahrenheit and smoke and "underneath" slapped me in the face and I promptly got up and shivered in the back. I couldn't believe I ran into that guy again. GOD. Ew. And this time the scent managed to work its way into my nose in such a way as to stay with me the rest of the night. FUCK.

And then today. Leaving the Subway. There he was ...coming out. He's a short man. Balding and altogether too thin. Pinkish-Yellow and smoking this time. The nausea is reflexive now.

Who is this man?? Where does he work that no one comments on how...fucking STRONG his odor is.

This is how bad it is:
I'd take 5 dudes wearing Drakkar and Polo alternately over this man in a heartbeat.

Fahrenheit is dead to me. Dead.

Get Your Hands Off My Fucking Cheese.

So, The Boyfriend whips out this book...I'm sure you've all heard of it... "Who Moved My Cheese?" In short, it's a little fable about some creatures living in a maze learning all about change and adapting to it. The point of reading this story is to figure out which character you relate to most. Do you relate to the mice who immediately set out to adapt as soon as change happens, or are you like the people: One who became apathetic and lazy and therefore unprepared for change and then sits around pouting about the change and refuses to do anything to adapt, or the other who after a time realizes, he's being stupid and gets out there to adapt no matter how scary it may seem or how discouraged he gets. Clearly, all of us have been all of these things at one point or another. I however, present a different scenario.
The person who defends the status quo. The person who says "Get your hands off my fucking cheese."

More often than not, I find that this is me. I don't like change, however, I recognize that it's an inevitability. So, I try and live my life in such a way as to avoid inviting change at all costs. I think for the most part, it's because growing up, people moved my goddamned cheese all the time without my permission and without making me aware that sometimes it was a good thing. They took my choices away from me. And so, these days, I hold on to my power of choice with a choking, vice-like grip. And fuck anybody who doesn't like it.

For example. My diet. I am definitely one of the most irrationally picky eaters I know. The Boyfriend doesn't even like getting Tapas with me because there are things I simply will not eat. Like Mushrooms. I don't like them. They are gross. Also, it's very hard to get me to try something new. And I finally figured out why. And it was during a lunch with my dad.

I ordered my staple Tuna Salad on White Toast. It is my all time favorite lunch in the universe and I eat it at every opportunity. So, my dad starts giving me a hard time about my boring palette and how I need to start "broadening my horizons" (a favorite dad-ism) and at that moment- an epiphany. I looked up from my plate and calmly stated:
"Dad, there are very few things in my life that I have control over. What I eat is one of them. I know what I like. I like Tuna on Toast. It makes me happy. If I try something new and it sucks, then I won't have enjoyed my lunch will I? This way, I absolutely know that I will enjoy my lunch. And yes, I understand that living my life under such predictable constraints limits the possibility of discovery, however, in this case, I think I'm ok with staying in the predictable darkness of my Tuna on Toast."

My point. I hate change. HATE IT. Again, I know it's an inevitability, and I am working to accept it. But right now, there are going to be a lot of times when I will simply turn to the world and say:
Get your goddamned hands off my fucking cheese.

Observations

There is always at least one peanut m&m in the pack that tastes a little "off".

Eating Indian food after 7:00 on a school night is NOT a good idea.

The nail polish I am wearing is just too orange for me.

The buzzword for the week: Racism.

According to some, there are people who can actually cause and manipulate weather systems.

Knitting is not nearly as difficult as one would think.

I think I've taken up knitting to avoid something.

Someone is complaining that not enough Hurricanes are named after black people. So, we did the next best thing. We named this current one after a black guy's white girlfriend. Baby steps, I suppose.

I am not ready for cold weather. I'm not done wearing sandals.

Learned a new word today: "Fois Gras" French for Fat Liver. And THE GOVAHNATOR of California has signed a bill to ban its availability in restaurants as its production is cruel to ducks and geese.

We have no issue killing eachother, yet we take pretty damn good care of animals.

It Seems Pretty Hopeless, Doesn't it?

When the most powerful county in the world can't take care of its own?

I pretty much take back everything I've ever said to defend this government. When the Top Dog over at FEMA is interview on NPR and claims he knows nothing about the 10,000 refugees at the convention center...that's right kids. "We dont have any reports of anybody in the convention center."

This government is fucked. Republican or Democrat it sucks. I've had it. And I cannot wait until my brother finishes active duty.

I await our next civil war.
And I apologize to Jack for my ignorance. The weekend was extremely enlightening.

An Eloquent Response to this Tragedy

Yesterday's post from me was admittedly harsh. I'm leaving it up though as an example of the futility of fighting amongst ourselves.

One of my favorite websites' servers are based in New Orleans, and obviously they are now inoperable. However, the webmaster of the site had this to say:

http://www.somethingawful.com/

I really feel this has been one of the most intelligent responses to what has happened to our country. Something does need to change. I'm at a loss as to how to make that happen. I am open to suggestions.

Again...my prayers and hope are with the people suffering through this catastrophe, and my dollars whereever there's a jar.

Peace.

Poste Deleted due to Disenchantment.

All apologies to Jack. He has since de-linked me. Which is fine, as I never really understood why he linked me in the first place.

But, anyway, this post was in bad taste and borne out of total ignorance. Fuck this government for allowing New Orleans to become a 3rd World Country.