Thanks NAACP!

For supporting dog fighting and dog fighters everywhere!

Martyr's Tonight!

Hey, if you're in the Chicago area and you want to see good, cheaply-had music,
come out to Martyrs tonight and see Five Foot Nine.
3855 N. Lincoln
Right by Damen and Irving Park.

We go on at 9.


You know you want to.

Theres...

Something about the word "misbegotten" that tickles me so.

Getting Hit on By A Pick Up Artist is A Privelege...

and so, apparently, is catching Hep C.

I was just over at my favorite columnist (The Hater over at the Onion AV Club...I have girl-crush on her that rivals, well, I don't know what) And here's what she shared with us today:



I feel the sudden urge to bathe. With bleach. And Tilex.

Hey! Nothing Like An Existential Crisis to Get Your Afternoon Going.

Very rarely. And I mean VERY RARELY do I have what people would consider breakthroughs in therapy. But apparently, even I don't know all the secrets that lurks behind my psyche.
I unlocked a big one today.
And it was completely by accident.

It's as though a depth charge left floating since WW2 has detonated in my brain. And no longer makes any kind of sense but at the same time makes all the sense ever sensed in the world.

My lack of ambition.
My unsuccessful relationships
My less-than view of myself and my inability to think any differently—
all of it. I've found the why.

But in finding the why...oh, the cost. For now, I have never wondered more why in the holy hell I'm here in the first place (and please, refer to the title of this entry for where scope of what "Why I'm here" actually lies).
Because in the logic of life love and time it makes no goddamned sense. And truly, I've never felt more lost and and at the same time found.
For in discovering my lack of purpose, I've found reasons.
Which is just plain fucked.

I'm Altering My Position

Ok, with all the talk about censure and impeachment that's cropping up, I now have this to say:
Democrats, as much as I agree with the sentiment, I think your time and money would be better spent getting a candidate into office.
Just a thought.
Let's be smart.

A lot of ex-Republicans are counting on you.

No, I Haven't Finished Deathly Hallows Yet

So, shut the F up about it!

Good lord people, can you please just wait a few days before you start shooting off your mouth about what happens???

I will reserve all comment about the book until next week.

I'm Published! Fuck Yeah!

As most of you know, or not...SomethingAwful.com has been a staple of my internet reading since pretty much its birth in 1999.
Well, I had an opportunity to submit a piece, and it was accepted!

Check it out here:

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/gara-week-eleven.php?page=1

The Gig

It occurs to me, dear blog readers, that I don't really detail my travels with my band.
Well, let's remedy that, shall we?
Monday night, we had a show at Betty's Blue Star Lounge.
We were second of three bands playing that night.
And it was good.
However, I find that I am very hard on myself and the rest of the band when we are done playing. I was upset that things didn't go perfectly.
This, I believe, comes from the actor part of my artistry. We are an incredibly ruthless and self-effacing lot when a show doesn't go absolutely perfectly.
So, I got a little peevish with the rest of the band. I felt badly. But, I've since apologized and we are now gearing up for the big Martyr's show.

Rock.
For more band fun, check out that Five Foot Nine myspace link over there. There's pictures, music, news, and goodness there.
:)

A Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, in a not so far away land, a beautiful princess and a well, sort of handsome prince met and fell in love.
The sort of handsome prince, while handsome in a pretty mediocre way, was indeed, CHARMING. And that is how he won the love of the beautiful princess.

The months went by and they were happy and in love. With love and happiness. The semi-handsome prince showered his beautiful princess with love and flowers and poems and songs and sunshine in a well meant effort to show how lucky he felt that he had the love of such a beautiful princess and how he couldn't believe that she would be so in love with him.
They were sooooooo happy.

But as the days and months and weeks drew onward, the beautiful princess started to notice that the kinda-handsome prince's showers of love and affection started to wane into a slight trickle. The beautiful princess thought that perhaps her eeeehhh-handsome prince was feeling sad about something and reached out to him out of her incredible and fortunate love for him. At first he was happy to talk about his feelings, thinking "wow. Am I lucky to have such a smart, insightful, and beautiful princess to share my woes with. She's the best!" And they were happy again for awhile.

Soon, however, the beautiful princess started to notice that every time they talked about what was bothering her ok-handsome prince, she was hearing the same woes and sadness and wondered "Why doesn't he DO something about these sadnesses and woes? I mean, I don't mind listening to him because of my undying and generous love for him, but jeeeeeez!"
But things just started sliding ever downhill from there. It wasn't long before the getting kind of ugly prince started being mean to the beautiful princess.

And one day, the beautiful princess, in tears, said goodbye to the now looking awesome prince. All the while wondering what she could have done to make him happier.

Well, not long down the road, the beautiful princess heard that the not all that greatlooking prince had found a new princess. And the beautiful princess felt very low and very sad. Adding to that, she heard that the bastard prince had proposed MARRIAGE to the new princess.

The beautiful princess was beside herself. For, this was not the first time something like this had happened. It seemed that everytime some lame-almost handsome prince came into her life, he'd be with her for a while, they would separate and then he'd marry the next princess that came along.

"What gives?" she lamented. "Am I forever doomed to be The Beautiful TRAINING Princess??"

Well, as luck would have it, she learned that the asshole prince indeed DID marry the new princess and they had many, many babies. However, it was revealed that he was constantly found in the company of other princesses and that new princess was sad and defeated and worn out from all the damn kids he had on her.
And that he had contracted Hep C.

The end.

I Am Addicted to Doritos

But I think they have a little too much cheese on them now. And by "cheese", I of course mean the powdered cheesefoodlike substance.

And I also have a gig tonight.
And the day off work tomorrow.
Rockstar.


This weekend has been...interesting. Eye-opening even. More doors closed in order to facilitate the opening of new ones. Perhaps even a window or two. OR 10 considering it's about 90,000 degrees outside.
But, I'm not really complaining. I'd much rather be too hot than too cold.
Cold sucks.
It makes me want to cry in my soul.
And places.

The Good News Is...

I'm fixing a hole where the rain gets in
And stops my mind from wandering
Where it will go

I'm filling the cracks that ran through the door
And kept my mind from wandering
Where it will go

And it really doesn't matter if
I'm wrong I'm right
Where I belong I'm right
Where I belong
See the people standing there
Who disagree and never win
And wonder why they don't get in my door

I'm painting my room in the colourful way
And when my mind is wandering
There I will go

And it really doesn't matter if
I'm wrong I'm right
Where I belong I'm right
Where I belong
Silly people run around
They worry me and never ask me
Why they don't get past my door

I'm taking the time for a number of things
That weren't important yesterday
And I still go


I'm fixing a hole where the rain gets in
Stops my mind from wandering
Where it will go oh
Where it will go oh

I'm fixing a hole where the rain gets in
And stops my mind from wandering
Where it will go

Thank you Beatles.

OH MY GOD!

That is all.

Last night...

During my collective 12 hours of sleep,

I dreamt that Michael Madsen sent me a greeting card in preparation for a party that everyone was invited to.

I am on Record.

I will not be voting Republican this election term.

Also,

George W. Bush should be impeached.


That is all.