A Conundrum

I really like this band.
But I heard them on TV.
I've been doing some research to see what kind of band they are.
Are they manufactured?
But the music is really good.

Am I just being too emo?

A Conversation...which is quite enough.

me:ok,
so (name withheld) has a new girlfriend.
ew
here's her myspace quote:

Friend: oh honey, i know.
alllllll about her.

me: "What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson"

Friend: ew.

me: yeah, you keep telling yourself that when you find illegal kiddie porn on your laptop.

Friend: ".....are tiny matters compared to the tiny human beings my boyfriend likes to fuck"

me: EW

Friend: THAT'S what it should say.

me: yeah, you tell yourself that when he comes home smelling like another chick's vagina.
I sooooooo want to send her a message.

Friend: we all want to.

me: that says "RUUUUUUUNNNNN!!!!"

Friend: but it would be for the very wrong reasons.

me: I dunno...protecting another woman from the Ick of (guy in question) seems like a great reason to me.
He should not be putting his penis inside anyone ever.

Friend: it should be anonymous.

me: that's why you make up a fake profile.

Friend: ugh.
But isp's and shit.

me: Mine isn't identifiable.
It's out of (locatoion withheld).
It doesn't say my company's name.
IP addresses are simply numbers.
The only way for a lay-person to trace it is to compare it to an email recieved.
It's how I used to bust (name witheld) for reading my blog.
However, unless you check mine from work (where your adress is listed as insert company here,) I can't tell if you 've been on just by looking at it.
I just picture an anonymous message something of this ilk:
"Your boyfriend is a latent pedophile and porn addict. Get out while you can."
or
"Your boyfriend was married once. Did he tell you that? And that he cheated during the whole whopping 6 months of his marriage? Or how about the illegal kiddie porn...did he mention that? No? Oh, well, FYI, then."
It'd be like a drive-by!

Friend: lol

me: I'm evil.
This is the only person I have ever actively really wanted to persist in making miserable.
Like "Just when you thought it was safe..."
BAM!
One of us comes out of the woodwork!
To remind him just what a degenerate he is.
HA!
awesome.
I should post this chat on my blog.
Cuz 10 bux says he still reads it.
That would be enough.

Friend: Douche.

me: Then he'd think ...

Friend: loser, douchebag shithead.

me: "oh my god, they're totally gonna talk to my girlfriend."
And he'd never know if or when it was coming.



Indeed, I have one mean bone in my body.

That's Enough Patrick Dempsey!

Fucking hell. Enough.
Just. Enough.

OK, Lookit.

I suffer during my period just as much as the next person...possibly a little more than some, and I'm here to tell you that the prospect of "eliminating menstruation" via birth control is just more than a little creepy.

Unfortunately, the internets have let me down as I can't find anything truly conclusive one way or another...
But I did see in Cosmopolitan (you know, THE authority on women's health "guys aren't as interested in blowjobs as you might think") a blurb that actually said: (paraphrased)
"Women aren't meant to have periods every month. Early women didn't have as many periods because they were either pregnant or breast feeding. So, all these periods are unnatural."

I don't even know where to start with that. I mean, on the one hand, it's saying that a perfectly natural function is unnatural...but it's also saying that women kinda should be pregnant more often. What side of the Feminist Fence is this riding?

I did read that theses menstruation cessation pills make testosterone less available. For those playing along at home, Testosterone is what turns us on and makes us feel things during the sex. I don't know about you people, but I have enough trouble as it is. Who in their right mind would think that I'd want to mess with my Libido?

AND add to that, Lybel (the current drug on the market) was only tested on 300 women for 1 year. AND 41% of women report unpredictable breakthrough bleeding that can be as heavy as a regular period.
So...all those women bitching about ruining clothes and stuff... rather than kind of KNOW when you're gonna start bleeding, you'd like to play the ponies and dream groovy dreams about a life period-free while unbeknownst to you, those white pants you're wearing are rapidly becoming a highschool hallway nightmare.
Ok, that makes all KINDS of sense.

I dunno. The witch in me is absolutely horrified by the glamorization of stopping one of the most womanly things a woman does.
However, the curled-up-in-a-ball-once-a-month-feeling-like-someone-set-fire-to-my-insides girl in me says "HURRAY!"

I haven't been on the pill in years.

How Many Brits Does it Take...

...to play an American rock Icon?


According to the latest Bob Dylan Super-Biopic, 3.


I guess.

I Drink Too Much

I know this because I am looking forward to a "night off".

Thoughts While Enjoying a Double Chocolate Muffin

Is the feeling of legitimacy when with a partner owed to the fulfillment of the human need for companionship and finding their "other half" or simply a reaction to socialized mores?

For You Conspiracy Theorists...

With all the talk about putting Grossman back in as starting quarterback, does anyone else find it odd that Griese suffered a shoulder injury that benched him mid-game yesterday? And it wasn't as if it was a big dramatic "GRIESE's DOWN!" moment rife with trainers, towels, and stretchers. He got up, moved his arm around a bit and the next thing you know, Grossman is fumbling a snap.

WHAAAA???

In all honesty though, Grossman did a great job yesterday. And it does look as though the team works well (better) under his leadership.

Poor Griese. So, the way it looks now, he's injured. He can't POSSIBLY play...

Although, none of this matters considering everyone on the Bears will be crippled in the next two years, and Benson has apparently forgotten how to run. I mean, literally....forgotten how.

What is wrong with the Petersons lately???

First Lacy, now Stacy???


Ok, wow.

In all seriousness. I don't mean to make light of a serious situation. But you gotta love the husband's coverup:

"Last time we spoke on the phone she said she was leaving me. Oh, and pay no attention to the last wife of mine who died. Accidentally.
In the bathtub."

What the hell is the matter with people?
When did life become an extended mashup episode of SVU and Without a Trace and Coldcase??

Refreshed

But still annoyed.

There's an ad out there right now for this men's body spray or whatever that features some ridiculously chiseled "good looking" striped shirt asking men everywhere "Are you alive?" Whereupon we cut to a long shot of a hallway in what is presumably a hotel, condominium, pethouse-type situation...but ultra-aweseome looking either way...and we see our "hero" turning a corner, running full speed, barefoot while pulling the whole tuxedo shirt and jacket at the same time dressing thing. Smiling. Running.
What's he been up to, I wonder?
A late night tryst with a married woman gone awry?
The morning after an illfated appointment with beer goggles?
Whatever. The message sucks.
It implies dishonesty and subterfuge and I don't like it.
People have enough trouble with scruples in relationships these days. We don't need men's cologne ads encouraging people to be dickheads.
Seriously.