Moms of America, Calm the Fuck Down.

Ok, so the man and I were watching the tv box last night. A pretty f-ing kick ass night of premiers, by the by.
Anyhoo, the news teasers kept featuring an item about this kid who was hit by a baseball in the face while pitching...with all requisite drama that all news teasers provide...and the kid's mom saying things like:
"The risk is too great."
So, we wait with baited breath to watch NBC news at 10. Well. Here's the situation.
Some kid was pitching a little league game, the batter hit the ball. Into the pitcher's eye. He's lucky to have kept his eye, bla bla bla...
But, instead of just writing this off as dumb luck, and "that's what can happen during any baseball game" this kid's mom needed someone to blame. Just like any other mouth-breathing American. What does she blame?
Aluminum fucking bats.
And she wants them banned.
And, she's made enough goddamned noise about it that the State Legislators are drafting a bill that will ban aluminum bats from little league and highschool play.
But here's the BEST FUCKING PART. NBC then turns around and hits us with this completely UNRELATED STATISTIC:
And I quote:
"80% of little league injuries involve children under the age of 13."

Um? What in the ever loving fuck does that statistic have to do with the use of Aluminum bats?
NOTHING.
One COULD infer that all of those children were injured because of aluminum bats because most kids use aluminum bats at that age and so therefore all the kids were injured by aluminum bats....OH MY GOD!!!
DO YOU SEE WHAT THE HELL JUST FUCKING HAPPENED HERE????
Silogistic Thought. That's what.
It's alarmist, it's irrational, and most of all it's just plain fucking dumb.

OK, so. Moral of this story?
In the future, if we're not living the plot of "Idiocracy", American children will be helmet wearing asthmatics who eat paste.

A Completely Unrelated Endorsement for my Band!

One of my myspace "friends" the Mary-Archie Theatre posted this. I've never worked with them outside The Abbie Hoffman festival and then some peripheral exposure...


Anyone looking for something fun to do on October 6th, should definitely cruise by The Kinetic Playground for some good music and cheap drinks. Only $5 for 3 bands!!




RadioFreeChicago.Org is celebrating the one year anniversary of BANDWIDTH, a concert series sponsored by RadioFreeChicago.Org and FuturePerfectRadio.Com. We are commemorating this special occasion by coming back to where it all began, the Kinetic Playground with a night of singer/songwriters from the Midwest and more surprises yet to be announced!

Saturday, October 6th, 2007 @ Kinetic Playground

RADIOFREECHICAGO.ORG PRESENTS:

RIVULETS w/MARGO MAY and FIVE FOOT NINE!
Kinetic Playground | 1113 W. Lawrence, Chicago, IL 60640
21 & Over | ONLY $5 | Doors 7:00 PM - Show 9:00 PM

ABOUT THE BANDS:

RIVULETS (Bloomington, IN)
"Primarily the work of one gent Nathan Amundson, Rivulets has been graced with some notable guest players over the years including Alan Sparhawk and Mimi Parker of the likemindedly somber Low. On You Are My Home, Amundson is joined by the none too shabby musical guests Codeine's Chris Brokaw, Jessica
Bailiff, Christian Frederickson of Rachel's, Boxhead Ensemble's Fred Lonberg-Holm and Bob Weston of Shellac and Mission Of Burma. Their combined guitars, keyboards, strings and horns work together with Amundson's heartbroken voice magically to create a deep dark melancholia."- Aquarius
www.rivulets.net |myspace

MARGO MAY (Manhattan, KS)
"Margo May is a singer/songwriter from Manhattan, KS. She has been playing all over the Manhattan / Kansas City area for the past couple of years, and with each show she has gained more and more of a following. Her lyrics are endearing narratives, bordering lullabies at times, yet always chartering strange ground uncommon for artists in her genre. Musically, she is a free spirit - almost never playing a song the same twice, yet only changing minor things, such as time signatures and chord changes. The changes are not at all distracting, they are actually endearing, and they show off Margo's musical talent." -Dusty Bookshelf
MARGO MAY on myspace

FIVE FOOT NINE (Chicago, IL)
"Immediate comparisons may be drawn with the New Pornographers, but a more fitting barometer may be the Billy Bragg and Wilco Mermaid Avenue sessions. Perhaps this is due to the striking backing vocals of Laura Coleman, who at times has an uncanny resemblance to Natalie Merchant..."
"Back To The Tunnels," and its roots-influenced, jangle pop, is an instantly likable lead number, even if I continue to mishear the chorus as "Turn on the television" instead of "Turn on the tunnel vision." The harmonies between Hushel and Coleman on the Spanish tinged folk of "O La Moana" are another definite highlight, and I can't help but start toe-tappin and head boppin when Coleman takes the lead on the playful and soulful "Sugar. - irockcleveland
www.fivefootnine.net | myspace

How cool is that??

That's It.

Ok, I've made a decsion.

Until they bench Grossman or until they win a game against a team other than the worst rated team in the league, I am no longer watching the Bears play.

Fuck the Bears, and fuck Chicago sports in general.
I've had it.


I'm done.

MMMM.... G Love and Special Sauce.

Holy God.
I'm so pissed that i forgot my camera. Good thing B's phone is better than mine:




We were so close...it was unreal. I love seeing shows at the Vic. I'll be going back in October to see the Decemberists.

And I will say this.
We were standing around some really cool people who were fun, respectful, and happy, which just made the show that much better.

Thank you Leslie for the free tickets.

G Love is officially Secret Boyfriend # 555.

To the Marketing and Strategy Director At Planned Parenthood, Aurora.

So, ok. Planned Parenthood is getting a whole rash of shit because supposedly the town of Aurora was "lied to" about what kind of facility was actually being developed in that space. And the citizens of Fantastic Aurora are pissed as they don't want "The kinds of services Planned Parenthood provides" in their town.
What services???
Oh. You mean, affordable STD screenings? Affordable Gynecological healthcare and preliminary pre-natal consultations???
See, this is where PP has gone horribly wrong.
They've moved into a (from what I understand) dense Hispanic population.
Hispanic = Catholic and Catholic = no abortions EVER.

So. How does a place like PP leverage itself in a community that might otherwise shun them, even though that community might DESPERATELY NEED its services?
By letting folks know that it's not all about the baby-slaying.
And, if I've read correctly, we have quite the... "temporary worker" presence in Hispanic areas. Yeah, that's nicey-nice for "Illegal Alien". What of it? You wanna fight about it??
Anyway...people WITHOUT INSURANCE. People who may not be able to get the healthcare they need.
People who reproduce.
People who "might need to have that looked at".
People who get diseases and need treatment and prevention.

Here's some suggested taglines, Planned Parenthood:

Planned Parenthood: We Help You HAVE Babies Too.
Planned Parenthood: Yes, that DOES look infected. You should come in immediately.
Planned Parenthood: Healthy Pipes=Healthy Babies.
Planned Parenthood: You're 15. Wear a Goddamned Condom. Here. They're Free.

Call me and we can negotiate usage rights.

I Could Be on Crack but...

So, those of us in Chicago have been waiting with baited breath to see what's gonna happen with the CTA hikes and cuts.
Well, funny we should ask.
Daley's Toadie, Blagoyevich is going to try and push approval of 3 new casinos in the city.
For those of you playing along at home, Daley has been trying to get Casinos in the city proper for years. (The clandestine destruction of Meig's Field back in '03 was fraught with rumors of making room for a land-based casino location).
And isn't it interesting that the CTA is failing so badly financially?
And isn't it ALSO interesting, that the story competing with this is Daley's "speaking out against racism" in the proposed move of the Chicago Children's Museum from Navy Pier to Grant Park?

Nothing like a good cry of "RACISM!" to cover up nefarious dealings in the bureaucracy.

I Think I Just Got a Little Dumber.

Ok. I'm here to tell you right now that the Red Eye is quite possibly the worst thing to ever happen to journalism. Ever.
The Red Eye, for those at home, is basically the "newspaper" for all the ADDers out there who never got ritilin as children. And it's dumbing us all down, one poorly written, badly cliched OpEd at a time.

Today's offering comes to us from one Katie McCollow, whose "Marriage interrupted—by football season" makes me tired in my soul. In the article she simpers about how her husband likes to watch football and for some reason, she's too retarded to get it. So, she buys shoes. And watches Russel Crowe movies.
Someone shoot me.
It's not only a bad cliche of an article, but it's on fucking page 4. AHEAD of a BLURB on page 15 about a strike in Syria targeting a shipment of weapons to Hezbolla guerillas by the US and Isreal. And THAT blurb is included in the same "News by Numbers" section that houses an item about a website that aids adulterers.

And people wonder why the dollar is on a steady decline into the shitter.

I'm About Over this FUCKING RAIN

And thank YOU very goddamned much Youtube, for Chocolate Rain.
Which I can't help but hear in my head every time I say "Fucking Rain".

Thursday night + weiss beer= Cranky Friday.

Ok, THIS is Priceless...

In my never-ending search for inner peace and enlightenment I take my woes to my therapist.
Woes of late?
Money.
For some reason, my financial stability has completley fallen apart. Mostly due to my relationship with my asshat of a bank.
And there is literally no goddamned reason for it.

And then she said it:

"I just had a really weird though. It seems that now that you are somewhat comfortable with yourself in your dating life...how much this crisis is resembling your former relationships. The anxiety, the unmet expectations...the betrayals. It's really interesting."

WHAT? So, what we've learned today that when I solve one crisis, my psyche decides to make manifest the same type of crisis elsewhere?

Will it NEVER END???

What the fucking everloving fuck???