And so it goes, so it goes, so it goes...

What?

I'm getting married. To B. My cup runneth over.

Blog Readers, it's the end of an era. And yet, the beginning of one. You will be regaled with drama (I've already had one fight with my mother), dress disasters, and the rest of the 4th Ring of Hell, otherwise known as Planning a Wedding.

For now, my brain is a buzz, by heart is full, and my finger heavy with shiny things.

And Now...Depression Sets In.

You guys, for serious. I am fucking bored.

I've taken my bike in twice for rear flat tires in as many days. What the fucking fuck? I GET that it's an old bike, but getting stranded all the way in Rogers Park kind of sucks my balls.

MIke Myers is on Regis and Kelly right now. Isn't he irrelevant yet?

I have just heaved an enormous sigh that says "I think my career as a writer for advertising and marketing might be over.

BUT GOOD NEWS!
My brother just called!
I'm going fishing!

What?

Goddamnit, Metallica.

"DEATH MAGNETIC"? That's the name of your new undoubtedly terrible next album?
What does that even mean???

You are terrible writers.

I hate you.

I'm sorry...I'm laughing really hard right now....

Oh Kelly Preston. You made my day this morning.

On her new film premiering on Lifetime, which by the way features not only a rape, but ALSO an affair happening while the rape was going on. Awesome:

"The director was great...he did it almost as if it was an independent film" (Whatever helps you sleep at night there, Kel)
"I am really impressed with what LIfetime is doing. I mean the subject matter is topical, it's timely...they're adapting books to film. I think they're really doing important work."


I can't... stop...laughing!

Oh wait, "Mother May I Sleep With Danger?" is on!

I Am Lazy

Oh, dearest blog readers, I have been remiss in my blogging duties...what with the freelancing, tornadoes, and buckets of fucking rain, I just haven't found the wherewithal to keep up.

Some items of note:

-I should probably turn in my nerd-license as somehow, I have seen Sex and the City but NOT Indiana Jones.
-Seeing Sex and the City exposed me to so much estrogen that I'm surprised I didn't have my period right then and there. (Spontaneous lactation would also have been an acceptable response.)
-Apparently, I am still attractive to semi-hammered men at Pretty People Bars as evidenced by advances from a random semi-hammered man which involved him stumbling up to me and putting his arm around me while singing. And then drunkenly calling attention to my "hotness". My boyfriend agreed.
-Apparently, I am old as my response to the above was a horrified look, panic and a shocked "I don't know who you are!" Sigh.
-I have zero patience for mass email forwards from our older internet-user bretheren involving scams wherein "strangers" use "ether" disguised as "perfume" to render victims "unconscious". This is for "real."
-I have another tattoo. And it hurt like 8 bitches on a bitch boat!


That is all. It comes in short bursts these days, folks.